Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
