But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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