At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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