I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
