PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
