so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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