remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
