This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
