My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
ttyl tear gas
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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