11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize