Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
