I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
