i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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