If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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