I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
