what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Randomize
