Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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