Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
