sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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