So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
