Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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