Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
