id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Every concussion has its silver lining
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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