I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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