Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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