I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
