I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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