Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize