you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
