I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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