I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
