Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
