I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
