R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
