break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
