Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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