To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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