So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
