there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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