Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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