HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
