someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
