I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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