I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
