I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
people are starting to question the shark bite story
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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