I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just google imaged poop.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Randomize
