I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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