You're my little dorito
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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