you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He did a backflip because drugs
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
