everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
