the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize