so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
