you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
