Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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