theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize