Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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