They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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